


To Protect and Love

by Justdaise



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Cop Alec, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, I suck at this, Kinda, M/M, Past Character Death, Pianist Jace, married, mentions of crime scene?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:42:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28687305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justdaise/pseuds/Justdaise
Summary: Alec’s called in at 3 in the morning for some newfound trail of a case gone cold. Jace is pissed at Lily for ruining their vacation plans for his tour. Izzy wants to drink.I’m not sure if this was inspired by the ever amazing @DownworldShadow’s Bitter Sweet Symphony, an unhealthy amount of Blue Bloods binging or just the ‘Grab a cop gun kinda crazy’ line in Sweet But Psycho by Ava Max.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Mentioned Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 18
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

Jace hated the sound of Alec’s phone ringing in the middle of the night more than he hated when a quartet member messed up or even when Isabelle’s baby went on a screaming spree.

It was a tough competition one might say. But Jace remembered the times he actually appreciated a hot guy or girl he had his eyes on messing up the rehearsal. It was a good enough excuse to flirt with them and make sure they understood fucking up his performance was not an option.

There were even times when he liked Izzy and Si’s baby. She was really horrifying and her screams were surprisingly energetic for a 9 month old and Alec said he shouldn’t be surprised cause well… it’s Izzy’s offspring. Clearly half a Lewis wasn’t enough to cancel that out. But she had Alec’s eyes. So she could be a little tolerable.

But the damn ringtone at 3 in the morning? It could actually be counted as not just one of the sounds, but one of all the things in his life he passionately hated.

Alec fetched the phone with minimal amount of movement and answered. Voice dripping of sleep and trying very hard to sound as not annoyed as possible.

“Lightwood.”

Now Alec hated these calls because he hated his sleep being disturbed probably more than being shot. Max would bet on that. He was the one who’d made Jace fully understand the consequences.

_“He didn’t talk to me for a week man! Nearly got disowned because my video game was a little too loud!”_

And that had gotten Jace to be careful with his calls when he was on tour. Although he himself preferred Alec have a good uninterrupted night sleep with the things he had to deal with in the morning at work.

“Lil…are you sure?”

Alec was now sitting up on the bed, rubbing his eyes trying to sound as alert and professional as possible.

Jace stopped himself from groaning and got up to leave the room and make himself useful. Putting on a pot of coffee and making breakfast wouldn’t take his mind off the call that was going on in the bedroom exactly. But it was better than sitting around listening to Alec’s partner explain the details of a dead body and why it concerned his husband.

A few minutes later he filled Alec’s mug and went back to the bedroom. Alec was getting his gun and badge out of the safe, his dripping hair indicating he’d already taken a shower more for the sake of chasing away the sleep than anything else.

“Any preferred not-exactly-breakfasts?”

Jace asked following Alec’s movements around the room.

“Can’t. Gotta be there ASAP”

That explained his light speed shower. Alec closed the safe and the trap door and reached out for the mug. Jace handed it to him and wanted to smile when Alec inhaled the aroma deeply like the addict he was before drinking it but couldn’t. Alec downed the entire content of the mug in one go and that only proved what a hurry he was in.

“What is it?”

Jace asked although not particularly dying to get the details.

“Dunno,” Alec shook his head and put the empty mug on the nightstand, “Hoping to go find out.”

He moved to the closet to get some clothes.

“What, Lily can’t manage on her own?”

He retorted more inquisitively than sarcastically. _You’re not even the on-call detective_ was left unsaid. At least when Alec was assigned on-call hours Jace was more prepared with breakfast and everything. Though admittedly this wasn’t the first time either.

“She’s not there. It’s not ours technically so one of us has to go and check it out before the actual detective comes and starts throwing around jurisdiction. And I’m closer.”

“What?”

Jace asked, trying to keep the utter annoyance he was feeling out of his voice. Last time he checked, checking out other people’s crime scenes was not in Alec’s job description.

“It’s possible it’s the same M.O of someone from one of mine and Lily’s cold cases.”

Alec dropped the clothes he’d picked on the bed and moved closer to Jace.

“Don’t worry about breakfast. Lily will take care of that.”

He said softly and threw his arms around Jace’s waist and looked at him with a reassuring smile. Much to Jace’s disappointment it did little to ease his mind. Breakfast wasn’t what he was worried about after all but nonetheless, he had an answer for his husband.

“Lily, who makes your sister’s cooking look like treasure Lily? You put her in charge of food?”

“Well not her, whoever’s with her for the night.”

Alec answered as-a-matter-of-factly and Jace lifted an eyebrow.

“And they can cook?”

“Well someone’s gotta right? And you said it yourself it can’t… no… _shouldn’t_ be her.”

Alec said and placed a quick kiss on Jace’s lips before moving to put on clothes.

“Then how does it work? She basically asks whoever she’s picking up for the night if they can cook?”

Alec slid into his jeans and answered him clearly trying not to laugh.

“Pretty much”

Jace shook his head, “They probably think she’s throwing in some clever innuendo and just play along with her cause they don’t wanna look dumb in front of the hot chick in leather jacket.”

Alec broke into a laugh and like that, Jace forgot all about reincarnated cold cases and midnight calls from annoying partners. He couldn’t resist closing the distance between them and kissing his Detective fully on the mouth. Alec was caught off guard for a second before responding just as eagerly and for a few minutes Jace felt like all was right with the world. He remembered how scary it’d been the first time he became aware of this feeling. Back then it was scary because a guy he’d been dating for only a couple weeks could make him feel that way. Now…he didn’t wanna dwell on all the things that increased the odds of him being forced to live without it.

Jace could go on kissing Alec all day but he slowly let him go before he got unnecessarily emotional and make it harder than it was for Alec. He knew Jace got messed up with calls like this. Jace didn’t want him to have to be the one pulling away.

“Want a re-fill?”

He said turning away to get the mug.

“Mhm Thanks”

Alec dropped a kiss on the back of his shoulder and went back to getting dressed.

Jace got the mug and left the room, thinking Alec sounded exhausted again already. He’d been working hard to close as many cases as possible to make sure Lily wouldn’t get stuck with a whole lot to catch up on, on top of having to deal with whoever was being assigned as her temporary partner when Alec was on furlough. They had gotten everything in order to finally go on Jace’s upcoming tour together which would be a first. But it all seemed for nothing now. Sure, Jace could be optimistic and lean on the newfound trail not actually re-opening Alec’s case. But he didn’t do wishful thinking. Lily, as frustrating as she could be, wouldn’t wake them up at 3 a.m. for nothing. And whatever information she’d delivered had Alec hot on his heels too so there was no point in thinking it could all be some kind of miscommunication.

Jace was thinking they got so close to actually making it this time when Alec came out of the bedroom. He picked up his keys and the re-filled mug and after thanking Jace again he headed for the front door. Jace got an apple from the fridge and followed him.

“Here”

He tossed the apple and Alec caught it with his free hand.

“We ate like 5 hours ago you know. It’s not like I’m gonna pass out from hunger even if Lily fails to get some food”

Alec declared eyes flickering mischievously between him and the apple.

Jace didn’t say that failing to get food in New York City at any given hour was just about impossible. Instead he only opened the door for Alec and answered, “You’ll pass out if you down caffeine like that on an empty stomach”

He hit the elevator button too before looking back up at Alec who was smiling at him endearingly.

“You keep me conscious.”

Jace snorted, “I keep you alive!”

“You do”

Alec said softly. Staring him in the eyes. He moved closer and put a light kiss on his cheek and kept in place when he said, “I love you”

The elevator doors opened and Jace went to stand by the front door.

“Yeah whatever,”

Jace said scanning the floor with his eyes. He was an emotional mess already and refused to get in any deeper. He looked up at Alec and added, “Just –”

“Be careful, I know. Told you you keep me alive”

Alec cut him off with a cheeky grin and stepped into the elevator car, pushing a button with the back of his hand that had caught the apple.

“I said that you plagiarizer.”

The elevator doors started closing.

“What’s yours is mine remember?”

“Pretty sure it doesn’t work that way officer”

Jace said bemused with his arms folded across his chest. Of course, it worked in however way Alec wanted but he didn’t need to know that.

“Again with the officer?”

Alec asked with a surprised chuckle. No doubt remembering all the dirty jokes Jace used to come up with and was forced to put an end to the moment Alec was promoted to Detective.

The stupid metal doors were closing in on his officer/detective’s face but Jace didn’t break eye contact.

“Tell Lily I’m holding her to her food promise”

“Okay!”

Came Alec’s answer from the closed doors and then the elevator started moving.

“Love you too”

He whispered to himself before going back in the apartment, closing the front door. He leaned his back on it and closed his eyes for a moment.

So what that Alec couldn’t come to his tour with him this time either? There was always the next one. It’s wasn’t like Jace was retiring or anything. It didn’t matter that he sort of wanted Lily’s head on a spike now either. He got that all the time and it just needed to run its course.

He got off the door and moved out of the entrance hall. He was deflecting. He didn’t care about the tour and their ruined vacation. Nor did he care about Lily’s part in it. Well, not the vacation part. The calling Alec in at 3 a.m. and sending Jace off to a sleepless night, that was all her. He could never do that when Alec got called in at ungodly hours of night. It was irrational really. Wasn’t like Alec’s job was any safer in the daylight. In fact it was mostly the other way around. All they did at night was examine the scene and wait for forensic and M.E reports. Interviewing in tricky neighborhoods or with potential murderers took place in business hours. But Jace had spent enough nights after Alec’s leaving in bed tossing and turning to know feeding his brain these kinds of logics didn’t do anything. Somehow his subconscious had decided Alec’s job at night was scarier for Jace to be able to go back to sleep than it was in day time.

He didn’t even try it anymore so playing was the next best thing he could do to fill his night with. He moved to his piano by the window overlooking a buzzing autumn New York at 3 a.m. and sat down on the bench, running his careful hand over the keys. His piano had been with him every time he went through a major change in his life. All kinds of Jace’s had sat there, playing.

Interestingly enough it was the same thought that had occurred to him when he’d come from London 3 years ago to the house he grew up in and his eyes had landed on the grand piano in the corner of the ball room. He’d come back to pack up the rest of his stuff and get all his affairs in order in 3 weeks and fully move to London. And then someone had knocked on his door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New York, 3 years ago

Jace was aware that he was running around the Brownstone like a headless chicken. A tired sleep -deprived jet lagged chicken, but still. He didn’t know where to start. Kitchen seemed like too much work at the moment. Mainly because he hadn’t decided what to do with the house. Same with the basement. And the library. The one place he could work with was his bedroom and that only reminded him he still had yet to break the news to Clary and Si. They were bound to throw a fit and that would be after they fail to convince him to reconsider. His grandmother who’d been trying to get him to move for years was bound to come up. But whatever his best friends thought, this was not Imogen Herondale’s eventual conquering.

His four years in Julliard he’d turned down his grandmother every time she suggested London would be a better place for him to live, study and take his career as a pianist to the next level. Of course she was hiding behind the fact that she just wanted Jace to be closer to her. But it made it all easier for Jace to reason with her that he was confident enough to believe he’ll make it on his own without her help.

That hadn’t stopped her from providing him with opportunities after he graduated. Jace did want to turn her down, but after he found out who he’d be working with he figured only a buffoon would turn down an opportunity to work with the best classical musicians in the world. Plus, her grandmother might’ve had connections but it wasn’t like Jace wasn’t worthy of an opportunity like that on his own merits. So for his ego’s sake he refused to believe it was just his grandma’s influence that he’d tried to steer clear of his college years. Whatever voice in his head said he was kidding himself was shut down by the excitement and the fact that even if it was all her grandma’s ploy to get him to move to London she’d be disappointed when Jace went right back home after the concerts were over.

He did not expect this.

There were a few things. Nothing his grandmother was counting on no doubt. But the thrill of competing against only the best from all over the world was the one thing he loved even more than proving Imogen Herondale wrong. Jace had decent competition in New York and the States. But it was usually too easy for him to best everyone, especially since the most talented ones he’d basically known from when he was a kid and went to summer camps with, hence the familiarity with their style. But the total foreign atmosphere and people had the wheels in his brain spinning full speed in trying to process as much as possible about them and learning as well as perfecting himself. The absolute unfamiliarity had made its mark even deeper once Jace had set foot on a stage he’d never performed on before, and let go of feelings he didn’t even know he was so fiercely holding onto. The newfound sense of liberation had been… strange. But welcome. So welcome in fact, that he’d gone out with the band he’d performed with and had gotten completely hammered, made out with practically everyone in the bar and ended up with… well more than one person at his arms after last call.

Not once had he’d done any of that after a performance back when he was home. Sure Jace was wild. Starting the night off in downtown and waking up in the Hamptons, Vermont, Atlantic City, Vegas wild. But not after his performances. Never after his performances.

He usually limited it to drinking a few drinks by himself in some hole-in-the-wall place and accepted the offer of a nice guy or girl to spend the night with. Sometimes when it had been a huge high profile stage Clary and Simon joined to celebrate with him and reminisce about the past and how they were getting old and becoming successful famous artists and musicians. It was a light hearted chat with a touch of all the feelings spending a lifetime together would bring up. Everything that had saved Jace’s life more times than he could count. But in hindsight, they were also reminders of all the times he was in need of being saved. So that night in that back alley bar in central London when he was downing shot after shot he realized he could do without tragic backstories and sentimental attachments even after he poured all of that in a performance.

It was the first time he acknowledged it. That every piece he played felt like going through the process of moving on from his parents’ death all over again. Starting from his piano lessons with his mom and the rides to the recitals with his dad to the days after the funeral when he locked himself in the ballroom and played for hours without faltering. It was his salvation. And perhaps that was why he slipped into this haze of nostalgia after being on a stage that drained him of his usual carefree and wild personality. There was no nostalgia in London. Or anywhere else that wasn’t New York. He loved the city, loved his friends and he loved how they all made him feel too and no matter how much he appreciated the sense of liberation he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was running away from something.

But he also thought maybe it was time for a change of pace? A fresh start? Maybe that way he could find out how to balance his feelings about everything in and out of New York. He didn’t even know if there was anything _to_ balance. It could just be how life worked. Whatever it was he couldn’t figure it out if he stayed. So he’d made the decision to go.

He didn’t notice he was running this train of thoughts in his mind to mentally prepare himself when he was pleading his case to his two best friends until he was interrupted by the doorbell. Jace got his legs working to get up and open the door.

“Good morning sir.”

Standing in front of Jace was easily the hottest police officer he had ever seen, and that was including all the ones he’d seen in bachelor and bachelorette parties. A tall lean frame that couldn’t be overlooked even with all the bulky equipment he had on his belt and the jet black locks on his forehead that just promised the messy just-rolled-out-of-bed hair that was covered underneath his hat. He held a notepad and a pen in one hand and was looking at Jace with the most stunning blue eyes. The pianist hadn’t even acknowledged his flirtatious grin and tone until he started speaking, “Well good morning to you too officer…”

He glanced at the name tag and looked back up, “Lightwood. How can I be of service?”

Officer Hotwood seemed too busy with the notes he was looking at to acknowledge the Jace that was about to jump him at any second.

“I wanted to ask if you know anything about what happened last night?”

He finally looked up from his notes and asked Jace who was still not finished with his checking-out.

“What happened last night?”

Jace asked just maybe a little distracted.

“Uh… your neighbors were shot and killed in their house?”

At that, Jace finally gave his full attention to the conversation and a lightbulb lit in his head.

“ _Oh_!! So _that’s_ why there are so many people around! I thought it felt oddly alive in here… well, not alive apparently. It’s just that normally this place feels as dead as a cemetery and I just thought it was leftover from my trip. Who died you said?”

“I didn’t. Mr. and Mrs. Jamison. Did you know them personally?”

“I did not. May they rest in peace.”

He’d put his hands in his pockets and leaned on the door frame. Wasn’t exactly a capturing topic of conversation but Jace found he didn’t mind continuing it with officer Hotwood.

“And you didn’t see or hear anything last night?”

The officer asked Jace while writing something down.

“I probably would’ve if I hadn’t gotten here just 3 hours ago.”

He probably wouldn’t have. Park Avenue and its people weren’t exactly on the top of the list of things he blessed with his attention but he didn’t mind sounding potentially helpful to the blue eyed hottie who still looked too pretty to be an officer. He got a nod in return and more writing and then the blue eyes were back up looking at him, “Well thank you for your time. Have a good day”

He flipped his notepad closed and turned to leave and Jace may have been a little out of control when he semi shouted, “Whoa whoa where you going?”

The officer stopped mid turn and looked at Jace with a confused expression.

“You’re not gonna give me your nu─… your card?”

_Smooth Herondale!_

Jace dismissed the discouraging comment in his head and continued with the usual ease that got him out of a lot of troubles it probably shouldn’t have, “So I can call you if anything new came up?”

“Didn’t you say you just got here?”

Hotwood said looking like he was about to open the damn notepad and double check the details of their conversation. Jace naturally only grew more confident in bullshitting his way to getting the hot officer’s number.

“Yeah but I know a lot of nice old ladies around here who really like me and are sure to cue me in on all the gossip I’ve been missing for the past 3 months. Surely they would open up to me a lot easier than they do to cops?”

Jace said trying to control a full grin from appearing on his face. Though he couldn’t help with the glint he knew was dancing in the gold of his eyes.

“You would really do that?” 

Asked the hot officer with hesitation and Jace bowed his head a little.

“Of course,” he continued as reassuringly as he could muster, “Anything that restores the safety of our neighborhood.”

The officer looked at Jace with his piercing blue eyes for a few more moments before reaching into the pocket of his shirt uniform and pulling out a business card.

“This is my contact information. You can always call the precinct too.”

Jace took one hand out of his pocket and accepted the card, nodding and trying his best again not to grin like a too proud predator. He looked up at the officer after shoving his hand with the card back in his pocket.

“Just… make sure you’re careful. There’s still a murderer on the loose and digging in too deep can cause you problems.”

That probably wasn’t supposed to make Jace smile but it did, “You don’t have to worry about me officer Lightwood I’m fully capable of protecting myself.”

“Still… can’t be too careful. Also if there was anything that seemed off to you please don’t hesitate to call 911”

Jace was a bit disappointed when the sentence didn’t end with ‘me’

“Sure.”

“Again thanks for your help.”

“My pleasure.”

_Trust me._

The officer tipped his head in goodbye and Jace went back in the house and closed the door with an unconscious small smile at the corner of his lips. At least one thing had happened to brighten his dreadful morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace of course, had been lying his ass off about the sweet old ladies of the neighborhood he paid frequent visits to. He didn’t like any of those rich ass snobs and not having to see them and this neighborhood ever again was actually one of the admittedly few things he was looking forward to about moving away.
> 
> Miss Jessamine Lovelace however, was the ultimate exception.

Jace of course, had been lying his ass off about the sweet old ladies of the neighborhood he paid frequent visits to. He didn’t like any of those rich ass snobs and not having to see them and this neighborhood ever again was actually one of the admittedly few things he was looking forward to about moving away.

Miss Jessamine Lovelace however, was the ultimate exception.

“So she’s finally done it hasn’t she? Strong willed woman your Grandmother.”

Aunt Jessie said sipping her earl grey tea still as elegant in her 80s as she was in the old photos Jace had seen of her in the prime of her youth. She’d married Jace’s great uncle but their marriage was cut short when Nathaniel had died. Jessamine had moved to the States shortly after and not been to London since. The irony was right there staring at them in the face but neither had said anything about it. Yet.

“She is. But I came up with that all on my own”

Jace said with an air of confidence that got the old lady to chuckle,

“I have made the mistake of trying to prove a Herondale wrong enough times to know I am too old for it now.”

She put her cup down with a fond smile on her face.

When Jace was a kid, sneaking about his aunt’s house and flipping through dusty old photo albums when the grownups were talking boring stuff had been one of his favorite things to do when he came here. He’d seen a lot of old family photos taken in London and Jessamine had been radiantly beautiful in every single one of them. He didn’t know he could still trace that beauty on her face because of those pictures or it was how anyone who laid eyes on her could see.

“You’re never too old for anything Aunt Jessie.”

Jace said with a wide grin and when he saw Jessamine’s smile deepen he continued, “Like coming to visit us or better yet just moving back?”

He took a gulp of his own tea, eyeing the lady in front of him with careful eyes. Jace honestly hated leaving her behind. Not just because she was an old woman living alone in the big empty house and her last family in the country was leaving. Jace genuinely cared about her. She’d been one of the very few adults who hadn’t looked at him with pity when his parents had died. In fact, she’d been the one who had stayed by his side throughout the whole wake ceremony even when his grandmother had been busy with guests and warded off anyone who’d been eying Jace and talking with their companions about the poor orphan boy like he wasn’t right there able to hear them. Jace had never felt close to her but after that god awful day he always felt like they were connected in ways no one else would understand. Jessamine wasn’t a sweet elderly aunt who greeted kids with cookies and fun stories and let them have the time of their lives when they visited her. She was strict, the opposite of fun and offered biscuit only if you shut up and read something with her. And all that had done wonders in making Jace feel safe and less completely alone in the days and weeks after his parents passing.

Jace knew this was a sensitive subject for her and part of him felt guilty for bringing it up. But the part that thought he might never see her again or be able to say goodbye if he left paled the guilt in comparison to his own selfishness. If there was even a chance she’d agree, he didn’t want to miss it.

Jessamine’s lips twitched but her smile did not falter. She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders before speaking, almost like she was preparing to defend herself against whatever physical harm her next words might cause her.

“It’s a beautiful city, London.”

Jace opened his mouth to say something but she beat him to it, “Will you be staying in the city or the Wales estate?”

His grandmother wasn’t staying there, but she’d suggested the both of them can go if Jace preferred the peace and quiet. It did sound incredibly soothing but also incredibly intimate and even though spending more time with his grandmother was on the list of things he wanted to do he couldn’t help but feel it all would be too much too soon.

“No ancestral estate, just an apartment big enough to fit in my piano.”

Jessamine nodded. She wasn’t looking at Jace anymore. Staring down at the mahogany table in front of them with her smile bordering on deep sadness.

“You’re going to love it. She’s irresistible.”

That’s how she always spoke of the city that had once been her home. Jace had heard the story of how his great grandmother had gone there to live with her brother and gotten in trouble and was saved by her later husband aka Jace’s ancestor countless times. How she’d fallen in love with the city and stayed after her marriage instead of going back to America. He was aware of the deep roots of his family in the majestic city and that was probably why he hadn’t been surprised when his grandmother decided to move back there when Jace was off to college. Actually he had been sure she’d wanted to go and take him with her right after the funeral but that hadn’t happened. Years later he found out Jocelyn and Luke and Elaine were the ones that pointed out Jace could use the company of his best friends in the hard times to come. His grandmother too, was not the softest person on the planet, but she’d raised and loved Jace as best as she could and he would never forget that.

“That’s a yes then? You’re done resisting?”

He said trying not to sound too hopeful. And failing. Jessamine looked back up and her eyes grew softer.

“Are you?”

And there it was. Jace shut up. He still hadn’t told Simon and Clary so wasn’t even remotely ready to talk about his reasons for leaving let alone hashing them out with her. Because whether he accepted it or not, even if he was a decade late, he was doing the same thing she had.

“I don’t regret my decision,”

Jace was avoiding looking at her. She sounded like she’d regained her composure. Almost like it was never lost at all. Moving the tea cup to her lips once more she continued, “If that’s what you’ve been wondering.”

“Really??”

Jace didn’t mean to sound accusing but he did. And silently cursed himself for taking the frustrations of his doubts out on the woman. But that was the truth. Despite how sure he’d been and how sure he knew he was even now, he had doubts. Something he knew would happen and therefore had postponed his trip back as much as he could and yet the second he set foot in New York. Bam. Why was he moving again?

And the lack of anyone to talk to was all the more confusing. Jace knew his grandmother would try to press him on going through with his decision. And his friends would try to talk him out of it. He wasn’t looking forward to discussing this with Aunt Jessie. But maybe she was the only one who could shine some light on his situation.

She put the cup down on her lap and stared at him with her steady brown eyes that had not lost their glimmer despite everything she’d seen throughout the years, “You think I do?”

“I think at least you would wonder! What your life would be like if you just stayed. Don’t you?”

That was his biggest fear. He didn’t pity Jessamine, wasn’t as arrogant as to think she’d lived a lonely sad life and he wouldn’t want to end up like her. But couldn’t stop thinking if he was making a mistake. If he would be better off living in a city he’d grown up and grown roots in. Logically he knew that was the very reason he’d decided to have a change of scenery to begin with and it wasn’t like he couldn’t always come back if he changed his mind, but he couldn’t shake these feelings off.

“Of course I do,” Jessamine said still maintaining her calm posture. She was just answering his question. Wasn’t gonna turn the conversation back around and make it about Jace’s feelings and he was more than grateful for all the experience she’d had dealing with Herondales when she was young to know trying to talk him in or out of something when he wasn’t thinking clearly wouldn’t do anything but piss him off.

“Sometimes I think about it. What would my life be had I stayed in London amongst my family and friends, in the city where I’d loved and lost. Perhaps I would’ve moved on, gotten remarried and told my children the story of my resilience. Or maybe I’d just thrown myself in the Thames and been done with it.”

Jace was taken aback and answered almost automatically, “You wouldn’t do that.”

Aunt Jessie took her last calm sip of the tea and put the cup on the table, leaning forward to re-fill it. 

“Not now maybe. But I’ll never know what would become of me back then had I not moved.”

She sat up straight holding up her cup near her lips but before drinking she held Jace’s gaze and continued, “Life is not a series of good and bad decisions young Jonathan. Just decisions.”

Jace didn’t get it, but thought it made sense all the same. Somehow the determination in her eyes, the genuine smiles she’d given him – albeit not too many – throughout the years, and the love that laced every word the very few times she talked about the love of her life was clear evidence for her original testament. She did not regret her decision. It all came down to one simple fact he’d based his own decision on as well, he couldn’t know what would happen in the future. So he decided he wanted to start finding out in London instead of here.

“You know this is the part where you present me with a deep meaningful advice, like always follow your heart or something.”

Jace grinned and snatched a cookie from the plate before leaning back on his chair. Jessamine’s face turned blank.

“Giving advises are for poor bastards who think they can teach a Herondale something rather than let them experience it on their own, which is the only thing they’re capable of. And as for always following your heart, don’t you already know that? What did they teach you in that posh music school of yours then?”

This time Jace laughed with his mouth full of chocolate chip cookies that were his favorite and realized in that moment how deeply he was gonna miss these little things he grew up loving.

“I’m gonna miss you Aunt Jessie.”

Jace said with sheer honesty when he stopped laughing and it made Jessamine’s eyes grow her softest and smile her fondest smile.

“And I, you my darling.”

“Hey at least with all the who-don-it actions going on lately you won’t be bored out of your mind without me right?”

He said smugly and went for another cookie, trying to change the subject. Apparently he was successful because Aunt Jessie let out an exasperated huff and shook her head.

“Oh don’t get started on that! Coppers were here the other day asking all sorts of idiotic questions”

Jace took a sip of his tea, “What’d you tell ‘em?”

“That I wasn’t about to pay their salary and do their job for them.”

Jace broke into a fond chuckle before asking, “Come on Aunt Jessie you wanna tell me you’re not even the least bit curious what happened?”

“I am not curious because I know exactly what happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful readers!  
> First of all thank you all so much for giving my baby a chance and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it so far. I started writing this one in the beginning of freaking June (and still haven’t finished by the way!!!) and it was still well in the middle of those horrible days of pandemic and quarantine and the story of Jace and Alec here that’s only recently changed to an actual name from the prompt #34 is very especial to me & I’ve wanted to do right by it so seeing as it’s over 18k words and counting I thought if I went against my original plan of posting it all at once when it’s finished and instead divide it into multiple chapters it’d be better. But I’m not sure now because the flow of the story is being messed with? And one more thing is it gets to a point where I cannot chop it into pieces and it’ll be a lot more compared to the other chapters. So I wanted to ask you if you want me to finish and post it all at once or it’s alright if there’s like a 900 chapter and then a 7,8k one (which will happen ngl)  
> Thank you so much for your time and attention sorry if I’m being a total idiot I don’t have much experience writing and posting as an active member of a fanfiction platform and so I would really appreciate it if you let me know what you think.   
> All the love<3  
> Justdaise


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey. Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.”  
> “Sure. Thanks for calling”

“Hey. Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.”

“Sure. Thanks for calling”

Alec Lightwood took the opposite chair in front of Jace and said a bit apprehensively. Like he didn’t actually expect Jace to follow through with his promise and ask around about their case. And he was absolutely right. Jace had no plans to play Poirot with him the next time they meet. But hearing what aunt Jessie had to say about the whole murder situation and having loads to do tomorrow forced him to text officer Hotwood at 9:30 p.m. and ask if they could meet. Which was probably why Jace was seeing him in plain clothes and not his uniform this time. And although he had a dark gothic style going on Jace still thought it was a good look on him.

Anyway he wasn’t about to reveal the plans he had for himself and the officer so just nodded and took a sip from his water while Alec settled down and gave his order to their waitress. If he was honest with himself he was feeling a bit ridiculous. What Jessamine had told him may or may not be valuable to the investigation and he was sure a part of it the police had already found out on their own. And the more he thought about it the more he felt maybe she’d been reading too much Agatha Christy lately and yet he’d jumped the phone contacting Alec and was now here probably about to make a fool of himself in front of the hot officer. He hadn’t just been looking for an excuse to see him again had he?

Jace mentally smacked himself in the head for being so pathetic and self- conscious. Sure, Alec was hot. But Jace knew if he could meet him a few nights before he left to have his one last good old fashion New York night cap and avoid talking about shot and dead people he sure would’ve picked door number 1. Whatever he initially felt would be helpful if the police knew was probably being overshadowed by all these weird unnatural feelings but didn’t mean it wasn’t there. Reminding himself of that Jace took a subtle deep breath and placed his glass down on the table. Alec had ordered black coffee for some reason (it _was_ 10 p.m.) – probably for the lack of a better option in a coffee shop but Jace couldn’t in good conscious ask him to meet in a bar. Who knew what he would do with some scotch in his system – and he was now looking at Jace with his beautiful expectant blue eyes.

“So did you get anything from the gossip mill?”

“And more I’m sure. But I don’t know how much of it is actually accurate. My aunt’s theory just seems way too Law and Order-y”

“It’s fine, you never know what’ll help”

Alec was starting to slip in his full on officer mood again and his taking the situation seriously helped with Jace’s doubts and he finally pulled himself together within the few seconds Alec got distracted with the arrival of the waitress and the pot of coffee.

“I know it’s not my business but isn’t it a little late for coffee?”

Feeling like himself again Jace decided to indulge his curiosity and ask the 3 dollar question. He even almost smirked when Alec’s cheeks turned a bit red as he thanked the girl but held back because well… he could be professional too!

“I’ll be going over what we have so far again after I hear your information so I could use the caffeine.”

“This is what you’ve been doing every night isn’t it?”

Jace said and it wasn’t really a question. He could finally trace the sleep deprivation signs of the person sitting across from him and Jace would know those signs anywhere regardless of how distractingly attractive the other features could be. Alec smiled a bit guiltily and nodded before taking another sip of his coffee.

“I thought that was detectives’ jobs.”

“It is. I’m just trying to help out as much as I can.”

 _Workaholic or overly-enthused, that is the question!_ Jace guessed it was a little bit of both.

“Anyway you might wanna hold off on the rest until you hear what I got to say cause it might not be that much.”

“Every little bit works. Now,”

Alec put the mug down and got his notebook and pen out of the inner pocket of his jacket. He put the notebook on the table and flipped through it with one hand and unhooked the pen with his teeth to write something with the other and that got Jace to look away, taking another sip of his water. There was a small dusty piano two tables from theirs and he was thinking he could forget about the pen lid that was still hanging between Alec’s teeth and his black locks that were crowding his forehead even more now that his head was slightly bent over. He thought this was probably how Simon felt right before he made a fool of himself in front of somebody he liked. And Jace was not dying to know how that felt.

Maybe it was because he was involving a side of himself he normally didn’t with pretty boys in the picture. He flirted with them, slept with them. Not help them solve murder mysteries. Although to be fair, he didn’t do a lot other than sleeping with them. But maybe that was the thing. His flirtatious charming side was like a reflex that just came out around people he deemed attractive and now he had to─

“So you said you talked to your aunt? Does she live around?”

He was getting somewhere in his head when Alec started talking again. And being the expert he was on not letting his thoughts project on his face he waved his hand at Alec’s question dismissively, “She lives right across my house.”

“Oh Miss Lovelace right?”

Alec asked and flipped through a few pages while taking another sip of his coffee. Apparently the all-nighter’s he’d been pulling had gotten him memorizing a lot of things Jace himself probably didn’t know about the neighborhood. He nodded, “Yeah. Did you talk to her?”

“No my partner did.”

His tone suggested they hadn’t gotten much from that talk and Jace knew that to be true. Alec seemed to have gotten to the page he wanted. He looked it over once and then gave his full attention to Jace.

“Okay hit me”

_Oh you wouldn’t want that!_

On second thought, maybe he could use some scotch. Officer Hotwood however seemed perfectly calm and ready to have some first-hand exclusive scoop on the Jamisons murder so Jace complied.

“Okay. So I’m guessing you already have your money on the youngest kid right?”

“Ashton. Yeah”

Alec said, an underlying bitterness to his tone that Jace couldn’t exactly decipher so he didn’t dwell on.

“And I’m sure you know how he’s been said to be mentally unstable a little and has had more than a brush with the police his teenage years and…”

He trailed off when he saw the confused expression on Alec’s face, “What?”

“Mostly the evidence is against him but… we didn’t know about that.”

Alec said with a bit of caution and Jace frowned

“How could you not know, he was arrested for drugs and stuff. Don’t you keep records or something?”

“Well if he was a minor his records are probably sealed. We did get statements from his brother and sister that he never got along with their parents though_”

“Okay yeah! There,” Jace interrupted. “According to my aunt he’d apparently moved back in with his parents cause he was under a lot of debts. And a few nights before the... shooting,” Jace suddenly felt awkward talking about a man and woman’s death like he was delivering some juicy gossip. Which he was, he thought. Alec had started taking notes again but was still carefully listening, eyes focused. Jace continued albeit more neutrally, “They were all at the parents’ house. And there was a fight and apparently somebody called the police.”

“Yeah that we got. The report was that it was just a noise complaint, nothing big”

“Well I wanna know what happens to the people who get a visit and report says it’s big.”

He said sarcastically and continued, “Anyway in the good old fashioned nosy, blessed-with-loads-of -free time bunch of neighbors style someone heard the fight was about the little brother and how he’s still causing mommy and daddy problems and when the big brother and sister were leaving they were heard talking how they should take care of this problem.”

Alec was now listening to him with a deep frown of his own. Jace guessed he was at the same time running his information with everything they already had. He continued,

“Now this is the Law and Order-y part. My aunt said that the youngest kid seemed fine enough. She’d talked to him a couple times when he went for runs early in the mornings. Also wasn’t out every night partying. So the fact that he was nowhere to be found the night of his parents’ murder and came back pumped with heroin in his system seemed more than just a simple snap. And somehow Aunt Jessie thinks the older siblings have money problems. I don’t know if she actually has legit information or it’s based on other people’s words or that she saw the grandson wasn’t driving his mustang the other day he came to visit but she thinks_”

“The older siblings murdered their parents for money and framed their little brother for it.”

Alec finished his sentence and Jace took the last sip of his water before nodding, “Told you it was a bit Law and Order-y”

“No that’s actually…”

He stopped talking and started clearing the table off his stuff. Jace lifted an eye brow not knowing what was happening.

“It’s actually a pretty solid theory.”

Both Jace’s brows were shot up at that.

“It is???”

Alec was finished shoving his notebook back in his pocket restlessly and got up.

“Yeah.”

He emptied what was left of his coffee and nearly slammed the mug on the table, reaching for his wallet.

“Listen, thank you so much Mr. Herondale. Really.”

He dropped some cash on the table, “I have to go. Again, thanks for your help”

He said nodding to Jace and marched down to the entryway of the coffee shop without another word.

“My pleasure”

Jace whispered to himself, a bit taken aback before leaning against his chair with a smirk forming on his lips.

_Well I don’t know what happened but as the saying goes, hate to see you go, love to watch you leave._

Or something. But his show was cut short when Alec stopped right before he reached the door and turned back walking towards him again. Jace got caught off guard in his stance and wiped the smirk and ogling eyes off his face. He’d been so good this whole time he may as well keep his professionalism till the end. Alec reached the table and without giving Jace a chance to ask what was wrong said,

“I’m sorry. Do you need a ride?”

Jace’s brows furrowed. No he didn’t need a ride!

“Given that I’m pretty sure you’ve memorized the layout of the entire neighborhood by now you do know I live 2 blocks away right?”

He couldn’t be sure he knew what exactly was going on there. That couldn’t possibly be some kind of pick up line could it?

“Yeah but it’s already been a hectic week around here and it’s nearly 11 p.m. …”

Oh… _oh!_

“God you sound like my Grandmother when she wanted to get me out of bed for school. ‘Jonathan it’s nearly 8 you’re going to be late’ you wanna guess what time it really was?”

Master of deflection, Clary always called him. Anyway the officer didn’t need to know how off guard Jace had been caught.

“15 past?”

Alec complied. And Jace thought it was sweet of him not to tell him off with something like ‘can’t you see I’m in too much a hurry to be playing 20 questions with you dumbass?’

“5 to 15 _to_ seven. Every goddamn time.”

Jace said shaking his head fondly. A bit cause of remembering his grandma’s antics and a bit more on how this night was turning out to be.

“Still. Can’t be too─”

Alec started with his slightly concerned tone Jace hadn’t noticed before and was cut off.

“Careful?”

He finished his sentence remembering it was the same thing he’d told him the last time,

“I’m kind of offended you doubt my capabilities in defending myself Officer. I mean I am a very pretty face but I have other accomplishments. And I’ll have you know managing until you go and arrest whoever you seem to be in a hurry for is one of them”

He wasn’t holding off on that smirk anymore and it wasn’t all the finally freed flirtatious and charming spirit. That much Jace knew.

“Sorry I didn’t mean that. It’s just_”

Alec looked a bit uncomfortable and again, it just made Jace more confident.

“Good luck with your case Officer Lightwood.”

“Right, yeah. Okay I’ll go then. Be safe. And thank you again Mr. Herondale.”

Jace’s smirk only deepened and he managed to correct Alec with a casual, “Jace.” Before the officer turned on his heels and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so if any of you guys thought of a certain Blue Bloods episode with this chapter yes you are absolutely right I got the whole thing from that show! I don't exactly remember all the details but what was explained was all the show not me. I'd intended to come up with my own murder mystery but alas, laziness.  
> So obviously we're sticking with the weekly updates and I want to thank @Wxyz and @Ariadna for helping on the decision <3  
> As always thank you for giving this a chance I would love to know what you think so far so please let me know! Have a wonderful day/night and take care!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Jace hadn’t planned on their second meeting being the way it had been, this one he hadn’t even planned!

Jace was not counting on seeing Alec Lightwood again anytime soon. Actually at the time he did see him, he was not counting on seeing anything. Which was why when he woke up from the hellish doorbell ring that echoed through the living room he’d currently set up camp in and checked his phone to see it was only _seven_ in the morning he also saw red. His eyes caught a few freshly received texts and voicemails from both his best friends – who he still hadn’t had the talk with yet and had been dodging for days – and seeing some very threatening ones he got up and stomped to the front door shouting, “Clarissa Adele Fairchild I swear on my mother’s grave if that’s you─”

“I hope you’re not planning on getting us busy with this block again.”

Yeah. If Jace hadn’t planned on their second meeting being the way it had been, this one he hadn’t even planned! There was Alec Lightwood standing in all his glory and just the rolled out of bed hair and Jace with all the rest in his last minute put on pajama pants. (He’d been sure it was Clary and wanted to give her the shock of her life and then decided it would be too quick a revenge and put something on).

But of course he was Jace Herondale and it took more than a disheveled half- naked state in front of the police officer he totally had the hots for to get him rattled. Being awakened before 9 a.m. on the other hand… it was probably showing on his face because Alec Lightwood said guiltily, “I’m sorry I know it’s a bad time”

Jace gave him an annoyed look, the initial shock long forgotten.

“Yes it’s a bad time _Alexander_! What are you doing here and why aren’t you in your hot uniform? I thought this was a work day and… _fuck_ what is that _smell???_ ”

Jace was about to sniff around like a dog to find out the source of the divine smell and not care at all how unbelievably stupid he’ll look when Alec let out a soft chuckle and held up the box in his hand towards him. Jace took it and inhaled deeply.

“Fuck!”

He was aware he had no filter but couldn’t care less. One did not awaken Jace Herondale at 7 a.m. and expect mannerism at the same time. Least of all Jace himself. He looked up at Alec who was watching him with an amused look on his face, “Okay I guess this can be a decent start for an apology for waking me up at ungodly hours”

“It’s almost 8”

Alec said with a slight frown.

“Exactly,” Jace said absolutely entitled “Now what are these and where have you bought them from?”

Jace was not going to open the box and go all savage on its content. Well he was trying his best.

“Scones. I made them as a thank you─”

He heard Alec say but couldn’t let him finish because Jace wasn’t sure he heard right.

“You made these?”

Jace asked suspiciously and when Alec gave a shy smile and didn’t quite meet his eyes he knew he wasn’t shitting him.

“You _bake_???”

This time it was with more than a tad disbelief but it was simply out of his hands. Someone had to agree it was all too much for 7 o’clock in the morning!

“It was always the only way to get my sister out of the kitchen.”

The shyness was placed with a fond grin and he met Jace’s still surprised eyes, “Make sure to thank your Aunt for us. I got the feeling from my partner she’s not very fond of cops so I thought it’s best I don’t bother her.”

“Fuck me she was _right_???!!!”

Still no filter. Still too much for 7 o’clock. But Jace figured if this is how it’s going to be he may as well get used to it. Alec’s smile deepened as he nodded,

“Yes she was. Everything did seem a bit too easy and handed over to us on a silver platter. She helped us find out where to look to figure out what really was going on.”

Jace was now the one smiling fondly, shaking his head.

“That woman… never ceases to amaze me.”

“It was kind of amazing.”

Alec said and Jace looked at him again. The traces of exhaustion were still visible on his face but his smile was genuinely happy. Jace wondered how much credit he was actually going to get considering he was just an officer on the scene but if he was happy enough to wake up at the crack of dawn and bake scones for the woman who’d helped them then credit was probably not the first thing on his mind.

“So what about me?”

Jace teased with a tone of entitlement and kept from breaking into a grin when Alec’s expression changed to confusion, “What about you?”

“My aunt gets fresh out of the oven scones,” he pointed to the box with his head without breaking eye contact, “What do I get?”

“Well I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing with you. There’s plenty.”

Alec said and this time Jace did chuckle.

“Sure these are great,”

He slid inside enough to put the box on the console table and turned back fully, shoving his hands in his pants pockets and continuing with a sly grin,

“But I was thinking something more in lines of a date that doesn’t revolve around people who murder their parents for money and frame their little brother for it”

Alec let out a surprised laugh and dropped his gaze down to his shoes. Was it too cocky to assume he was trying not to stare at Jace’s obviously glorious naked upper half?

“I didn’t realize the other night was a date”

“Fine with me if you wanna count tonight our first. Be better for my ego too. Haven’t had a date run out on me to chase after another man before.”

“Tonight?”

Alec asked with raised eyebrows, looking like he couldn’t quite believe Jace was being serious.

“Yup. You can pick the time and the place.”

Again, surprise filled Alec’s beautiful eyes and it took him a moment to respond, not quite looking at jace,

“Mr. Heron_”

“Nope.”

“Jace.”

He said his name softly, this time looking right into Jace’s golden eyes and Jace found he liked how his name sounded like out of those lips, “Better. I’m waiting on an ‘okay’ though”

Alec opened his mouth, no doubt to protest again so Jace beat him to it.

“Look there’s really no reason for you to say no unless it’s against the law to go out with someone you met on the job which would be pretty unfair if it is”

“It’s not but─”

“No ‘but’,” Jace cut him off again. “I don’t even know why you’re arguing with me. I’m hot,”

Jace said like the single thing made all the rest make sense. “ _And_ I helped you solve a murder case. If that’s not a cop’s type I don’t know what is.”

“Technically it was your aunt.”

Alec said, a hint of amusement still in his voice, despite the clear frustration.

“Yeah but she won’t date you. She hates cops. Which is why you woke _me_ up at 6 o’clock in the morning.”

“It’s_”

“And that’s not only not protecting or serving, it’s not a proper thank you either. After all I was the one who gave you the information!”

“It’s 8!”

“Finally. 8 works. Now what about the place”

Alec laughed this time shaking his head. Jace smiled too and went on seriously, continuing taking advantage of the situation.

“I wouldn’t be against those round the corner bars cops go to for after-hour drinks and exchange cool war stories”

“Those are veteran bars”

Alec said and the mixture of annoyed- amused- out of his depth expression was a nice look on him from where Jace was standing. He shrugged, “Whatever. As long as it’s not a baked goods club, it’s fine by me”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Jace didn’t know he thought this was gonna take more convincing when he heard himself sounding surprised.

“I can get in real trouble if I stay here and argue for another minute so yes. Okay”

Alec said with a defeated sigh and the annoyed- amused- out of his depth smile and Jace grinned smugly,

“Okay”

He said smugly and Alec shook his head a little before letting out a sigh Jace thought it was still a sign of amusement.

“Well I better get going. Have a good day”

“I bet I will. Which is not common occurrence when it starts at 6 by the way”

Jace teased but Alec didn’t try to correct him this time. He nodded to Jace, “Goodbye”

“See you at 8”

Alec turned away and started down the stairs, “Yeah” he didn’t look back when he answered.

“And no baked goods clubs please!”

Jace shouted and this time Alec looked over his shoulder flashing him a grin before exiting the building.

A content smile formed on his lips and only when he went back inside and closed the door did it drop.

“The hell am I doing?”

Asking someone out on a date that was actually a date and not a hook up (which he hadn’t done since at least the graduation) 2 weeks before he left the country? He had shit ton of work to do! Hadn’t come back to the city to go out with a very hot very nice police officer who baked for cop hating old ladies with bizarrely accurate murder theories and made sure Jace was gonna be okay walking home late at night in an ‘ _already hectic week’_. Alec totally seemed like the kind of guy one would go out with when they wanted to give it a real shot. And Jace with moving on and moving away plans was not looking to give anything a real anything!

He let out a loud exhale that echoed a little in the empty foyer and made his way to the ball room. A little Lizst could be able to take his mind off the messiness.

The weirdest thing was that Jace didn’t stop to think it was just a goddamn date and not a marriage proposal that had gotten his thoughts all over the place like that. If he had he might’ve realized he was way in deeper than he thought right then and not 10 days later when Alec asked him if he wanted to go to a friend’s bar opening with him and Jace, knowing it was set 2 days past his ticket date just said, “Do you have enough pull to get us free drinks?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last flashback chapter and we're back to where we left things off from the next. Didn't know how else to say it:-  
> I hope you liked it I would love to know your thoughts!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the present time. Izzy wants to drink!

Jace was pushing down piano keys one at a time, pondering between Chopin and Stravinsky when the doorbell snapped him out of his thoughts. He got up the piano bench to get it. It was most likely not Alec, it never was. But since no one had called to inform him of a guest wasn’t hard to narrow it down to people who could show up at their door step any time they pleased. Besides he had a pretty good guess who it was.

However, the sight of his sister in law at the door, inhumanely fashionable at 4 in the morning was not where he’d put his money. Jace raised an inquiring eyebrow and Isabelle gave a bored expression, holding up a bottle of scotch in her hand.

“Where’s your Anti-Christ?” Jace eyed her suspiciously.

Izzy pushed him gracefully out of the way and walked in, “Home with her Dad.”

“You flipped a coin?”

Jace asked closing the door and followed her into the house.

“Left a note”

Isabelle put the bottle down on the coffee table and began shrugging off her leather jacket. “Go get your glass”

Jace moved to the kitchen and said, “You don’t want one?”

Izzy dropped on the couch and started opening the bottle, “I don’t need one”

She was already drinking from it by the time Jace fetched himself a glass and went to join her.

He sat on the couch beside Izzy and placed his glass on the table. Breathing in deeply Jace rested his head on the back of the couch and said,

“Go on. Let me have it”

“It’s 4 in the morning goldilocks. Either speak English or don’t speak at all,” she said leaning in, pouring none too generously of the scotch in his glass.

“Oh and the latter is just fine by me, just so you know”

She sat straight. When Jace spoke she glanced at him over the bottle she was back on helping herself with.

“The speech you came here with,”

He leaned in, taking his own glass, gazing through the golden liquid. “Whatever you’re supposed to say to make me feel better.”

Jace said taking a sip of his drink and Isabelle raised a perfectly shaped eye brow.

“You think I came here to baby you into calming down and going back to sleep?”

Jace spared her a challenging glance. After all, this was what she was tasked to do by her brother, wasn’t it? Alec always seemed to know when to call in reinforcements that were, up to now, just Simon and Clary. They had tried talking about it with him. Ease his mind or whatever, but soon all of them realized watching reruns and Lord of the Rings marathons and playing video games was a much better way to pass the time. Isabelle on the other hand was a first timer, so Jace didn’t know how she was going to play this.

“Because I don’t do it enough at home?”

She asked, shaking her head pouring an impressive amount of scotch in her mouth.

“So you got nothing to say to me?”

Jace was looking at her but Izzy didn’t spare him a glance when she answered, “Whatever I say isn’t something someone else hasn’t told you 100 times already. So Imma spare both of us the pointless conversation.”

She resumed emptying the bottle. Jace still had his eyes on her trying to figure out what he was dealing with.

“So what are you doing here then?”

Izzy stopped and looked at him like he was an impossible idiot. Jace got that look a lot since Alec had first introduced them to each other and Jace thought she was just being protective over her brother but overtime he realized she genuinely did think of him as an impossible idiot.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“You came here to drink??”

As soon as he said it, he realized it was so not as contradicting as it sounded in his head. Of course Isabelle Lightwood was perfectly capable of pulling something like that. She seemed to know it too because without answering him, she set the bottle on the table and got up, going to the kitchen. Jace sighed and poured some more scotch in his still full glass. He felt like he was gonna need it.

Izzy came back dropping all the junk food she’d found on the coffee table and sat down on the floor. Jace was following her movements over his drink.

Isabelle sighed in an exasperated manner (Jace got that a lot too) and turned her head, looking up from where she was sitting down by the couch, opening a bag of chips.

“Do you really prefer I sit here and talk how you should ‘not worry about something you can’t do anything about’ and ‘not let the worry ruin your current happiness’ and all the carpe diem bullshit? Or would you prefer to drink?”

She stated as a-matter-of-fact and Jace considered it for a second before cursing himself for being an idiot. Izzy was now looking at him knowingly. He finished the last of his drink and got up.

“Do you wanna do some shots?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the tiny one before the monster😄   
> I hope you enjoyed it!<3 Let me know what you think?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I mean... why did he have to be a cop? Couldn’t he be like a boring book store owner or something?”
> 
> “Ignoring the fact that my Dad pulled all the strings he had to get Alec in a district like the fucking Park Avenue fresh out of the academy you think if he was a book store owner you two were likely to meet?”

“I mean... why did he have to be a cop? Couldn’t he be like a boring book store owner or something?”

“Ignoring the fact that my Dad pulled all the strings he had to get Alec in a district like the fucking Park Avenue fresh out of the academy you think if he was a book store owner you two were likely to meet?”

Jace didn’t say anything for a second before shrugging,

“Yea you got a point”

He downed the last of tequila shots and reached for the bottle to refill them. Izzy was still sitting by the couch, legs stretched out in front of her. She had an arm propped up on the couch slightly leaning on it. She glanced at Jace before taking one of the newly refilled shots.

“At least you didn’t have to sit through all those fights where Mom and Dad shouted he could be the likes of a boring book store owner and he shouted back he didn’t _want to_!”

Jace grunted and said something about how she shouldn’t feel superior because of that cause it ain’t like Jace is actually being spared anything here either before taking three shots and pouring them in his throat at the same time expertly.

They’d been going at it for the past – maybe – forty minutes and Jace couldn’t remember how they’d gotten here. He was pretty sure they started with him asking about how Izzy was drinking even though she had Anna to feed and her calm-scary tone asking if he really wanted to know the detailed process of breastfeeding. Jace really _really_ didn’t. And he didn’t care that he didn’t remember either. Somehow they’d stumbled down this road without Jace even knowing. And since he knew he could not be drunk enough for that it only meant he wasn’t minding stumbling down this road with Isabelle. Now _that_? That was weird. 

“Hey my parents didn’t take him seriously until they saw his cop exam results in the mail but I believed him when he said that’s what he wants to be for the first time when I was in sixth grade”

Izzy moved her arm on the couch and reached for the chips bowl.

Jace grunted yet again. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how passionate Alec was about what he did – that was how they’d met for crying out loud – but to know how deeply that passion ran and for how long…

“I hate his job.”

He should’ve felt like he’d made a mistake admitting that – out loud, for the first time – to Alec’s sister – Alec’s scary overprotective sister – but for some reason, he didn’t feel judged. Isabelle’s answer proved he wasn’t wrong

“That’s the good part,” she said casually, looming over all the junk food on the table to find something to her liking, “the shitty part is when you think you’ve come to terms with it,” she found a bar of chocolate and snatched the bottle of tequila from where it was sitting next to Jace, leaning back with her arm on the couch, “then something happens and you yet again realize you’re always a hair breath away from going back to hating it.”

She opened her chocolate bar and took an experimental bite. Jace was looking at her intently,

“How did you do it all these years?”

“Did what? I didn’t do anything. Just sat back and let the cycle work its magic.”

“So this is never gonna go away?”

He’d darted his gaze to the floor. Izzy took a swig of tequila before answering him,

“It is and isn’t. It’s sorta always there. But sometimes it’s bearable, sometimes it’s chocking the life out of you.”

She took another bite of the chocolate, “Hence why it’s called a cycle. Pay attention goldilocks.”

Jace grabbed for the miraculously unfinished bottle of scotch and leaned back on the couch and repeated, “I hate it”

“Well… you know who doesn’t”

Jace glanced at her over his drink. She was busy with her chocolate again. “Jamie Mathews. She was out with a date late at night who had a knife to her throat forcing her to do what the fuckface wanted. She still sends Alec Christmas presents which is weird cause you’d think she wants to forget all about the night she almost got raped”

Jace didn’t say anything. Isabelle went on. “Joyce and Rebecca from the pride parade every year? Their son was kidnapped and Alec found him. Now _he_ says he wants to be a cop and save people. And Alex Gomez who told Alec he could never heal if his brother’s murder isn’t found. So he found the scumbag for him.”

She took a sip from the tequila and added, “and shit ton of others who don’t hate that Alec is a cop and was there to save them”

Jace was quiet for a few minutes and Izzy just went on with her tequila and chocolate bar, not saying anything. Finally he said, “Somehow that doesn’t make me feel better”

It didn’t, even if it meant he was a heartless bastard. He already knew Alec was as dedicated and good as a cop can be. A lot of people were safe because of him. A lot of people will be safe because of him. But none of that did a thing to making his job any less dangerous so Jace failed to see the point. 

“It’s not supposed to. It’s supposed to get you busy, looking for a silver lining long enough to stop feeling worse for a while”

Isabelle declared with her still casual tone, still busy with her nearly finished chocolate and tequila and Jace went silent before his lips tugged into a knowing smirk.

“You’re good.”

He said before bringing the scotch up to drink.

Izzy turned her head and tipped her bottle towards him, “6th grade blondie. 6th grade.”

She went back to eating and Jace stared at the coffee table. Neither said anything until Isabelle was finished with her chocolate bar and leaned back over on the table to find her next treat. Out of nowhere Jace was reminded of the time Alec said how his sister is blessed with the divine gift of eating as much as she wants without adding an extra ounce of fat to her body.

“We actually talked about it once”

Jace said not really paying attention to Izzy right in his line of sight. She didn’t give him an undivided attention either. Resuming her hunt and only saying,

“Talk about what?”

“Back freshman year when Clary was dating this rookie cop in 12th precinct. Si said that he thought being with a cop or firefighter and the other professions like that was the hardest love affair someone could find themselves into. Because they literally put their lives on the line for the sake of others and nothing could come before that.”

Izzy had settled for the mint chocolate chip ice cream and was actually looking at Jace for the first time that night while opening the bucket.

“Clary though, being Clary said people who were self-less and kind hearted enough to want to spend their lives protecting and serving others were also people who could love like no other.”

At the time it sounded awfully romanticizing but now, Jace knew first hand just how right his friend had been even all those years ago. Perhaps he should listen to her more often.

“She admitted it was challenging sure, but spending your life with someone like that, having that kind of a person for a parent and role model for your kids would sure as hell be worth it. At which point Simon started teasing her about how she was already thinking about spending the lifetime and being the baby mama for the cop dude and Clary went on giving him a blank face and calling him an immature 11 year old who did not have a place in an adult conversation, so I didn’t get to say my piece”

He took his eyes off the table and turned to Izzy who had a soft smirk on the corner of her lips, no doubt thinking of her husband’s antics, and snatched a bottle of vodka sitting next to her. He drank some of it, vaguely aware of Isabelle’s still undivided attention.

“Didn’t get to say that I agreed with him. That I didn’t need extra honor and selflessness in my life.”

His tone was getting bitter. Somehow angry at himself for being the living proof of how bullshit all of that had been.

“Thought I preferred someone with just the right amount of that who had a job that didn’t threaten their life every god given day. And not that I was ever entertaining the idea of having kids of my own, but I assumed people who did also preferred the lowest possibility of having to tell their kids their mom or dad had died on the job. That being an honorable role model didn’t matter as much as just… being. Didn’t think I could be convinced anything can be worth the possibility of going through that kind of loss.”

Later Jace would be somewhat amazed at how easily it came to him, voicing out all of these forbidden thoughts with Isabelle Lightwood, of all people. Now though, he was piercing the wall behind the TV set with his gaze while thinking how much of a moron he used to be. He had no idea what it was like to breathe easier with someone. How so much would lose significance in the face of loving and being loved by an amazing human being.

They should’ve stuck with their original color of choosing and just painted it all white but Alec had to go ahead and challenge the artist in Jace to that ridiculous tape painting pattern that they left unfinished anyway cause they decided sex in front of their half painted wall was much more entertaining than hanging off the ladder trying to get all the damn lines paralleled. Conveniently they’d left that little detail out when telling everyone they’d done that little piece of art work for their house. He loved the stupid wall and the reason it was left unfinished.

“You know what scares me the most… is that every time I get a call saying he’s in the hospital but he’s gonna be okay… or even when it’s not clear but it will be in a few hours… and I get used to it … to how there’s always… room for things to get better. And one day… I get a call saying… there isn’t. that it’s just… over.”

Wow…

Just how drunk was he exactly?

He wouldn’t let himself even think of those… of that.

It could all get very ugly very fast so Jace mostly stayed far, far away from these thoughts. He wasn’t idiot enough to think they’d go away if he kept ignoring them. Just never seemed to do any good dwelling on it. He didn’t know but could only hope one day he might be well-adjusted enough about it all to not need his friends or his sister in law on nights like these. Based on what Izzy was promising though he was very much in the wrongs.

And now.

Yeah he must be somewhere in the middle of a very drunk and not drunk enough state to go near these issues let alone talk about them.

Izzy let out a sigh that caught Jace’s attention. She ate a spoonful of ice cream and said,

“Mine is every time I voice that I’m scared for him – well I used to, I don’t do it anymore. Anyway there were always these people who started spinning numbers and percentage on how many cops get hurt on the job in their years of service or how badly or even how a lot of them won’t even fire their gun… and it’s low right? So it’s meant to be reassuring but all I could hear was… it’s that low, and it’s still happened. So how the fuck am I supposed to be reassured by that?”

She wasn’t looking at Jace but her ice cream. It still looked pretty casual the way she voiced out her own fears. It was and it wasn’t, Jace thought. She’d been doing this long before him and must have grown very familiar with these feelings. But at the same time, there was nothing familiar about the possibility of losing someone you love. It wasn’t even familiar after it’d happened. Jace knew all about that. Izzy went on,

“First time it hit me... was when I drove to New York with a couple of my friends from Boston one weekend freshman year. We really hadn’t meant for it but they felt like it and it was the first year I was away from home and I didn’t want to admit it but I’d missed Alec and Max. So I hopped up in the car with them and when we got to the city and I called Alec to see where he was to surprise him. We were having dinner when he got a phone call. Telling him that one of his buddies from the academy was shot. He wanted to drop me off at home and go to the hospital but he was a mess so I went with him.”

She looked like she was back in that moment. The bucket of ice cream was left unattended in her hand and she was digging holes in the coffee table with her stare.

“I don’t think I can ever forget it… that whole scene. A waiting room filled with a bunch of cops and important looking people… Alec diving through the crowd to get to his friend’s parents. And the guy’s brother… this huge 6’ 4’’ dude, at least four five years older crying like a baby in Alec’s arms because they just told him his baby brother had died. It just occurred to me that it could be me one day sitting in a crammy hospital waiting room filled with people with sorry sympathizing looks who couldn’t hide the fact that they’re at least a little happy it’s not them in the OR… just staring at the double doors waiting for a doctor to come out and say if I can go on living my life or that it’s never gonna be the same ever again. Alec’s always blamed himself for taking me there cause he ended up comforting me instead of the other way around. But I mean there’s no sugarcoating it really… it _was_ fucking traumatizing”

Yeah…

She didn’t have to tell Jace twice.

“At least your first time was someone else”

He said bitterly and poured more vodka in his throat. That got a chuckle out of Izzy who’d gone back to her ice cream,

“Yeah you were broken in hard”

Jace stopped mid-drinking and gave her a disbelieved look. Isabelle just started at him before she burst out laughing. Jace joined her a few seconds later.

He _was_ broken in hard.

And it was anything but funny or laughable. Isabelle showing up at his door, ashen faced but seemingly in complete control, not really having to tell Jace what had happened.

It had been a couple hours before the doctor came out of the OR and said Alec was going to make a full recovery. His entire squad, who Jace later on registered had been there all along were relieved and started hugging each other and cracking jokes about how this was gonna earn Alec accommodations. Or that he had nine lives and it was gonna take more than a lowlife drug dealer to put him to grave.

Jace was pretty sure he would’ve landed a punch or two if Isabelle hadn’t latched onto his arm and dragged him to ask the doctor some follow up questions. Simon and Clary had come, apparently Isabelle had called them too, along with Jocelyn and Luke. And if Jace stopped the turmoil that was running through his mind to take a look around it probably would’ve looked like the most bizarre thing. There he was, with his cop boyfriend of a few months shot, his entire squad and some of the high ranking members of the NYPD, his entire family Jace had never been formally introduced to along with the people he considered his own family in one tiny hospital waiting room. Interacting and asking questions, bringing food and coffee, whispering kind words and prayers.

In the days after Alec was released from the hospital and had per everyone’s insistence agreed to stay with Jace until he got better Jace spent so much time reliving all those moments it didn’t matter he hadn’t really been paying attention when they were happening.

“You think he’s gonna leave me?”

Jace asked after their laughter died down. Isabelle moved the stray strands of hair out of her face and went back to digging in her ice cream saying,

“Be more specific”

“How long is it gonna take him to realize he doesn’t want to live with someone he has to worry about every time he’s off to catching murderers and criminals?”

They’d talked about this before. It wasn’t like Alec didn’t know Jace couldn’t sleep after calls like this. But no amount of talking could just… erase the issue. And if this was gonna be how it worked… was Alec just gonna continue worrying and calling others to stay with Jace in these nights forever?

“Did you really just ask me that?”

Izzy’s tone had gone completely serious. Like the one she’d used to give Jace the shovel talk that night in Pandemonium opening when they’d first met.

“He’s done it before”

Jace said looking away from his sister-in-law. _He_ ’d come home one day after the shooting seeing Alec’s bags packed and him saying he didn’t think Jace was ready for what his job might throw at them, what was she so entitled about?

“And when I told him he needs to get rid of you cause you’re a blond moron he said you actually got brains in you”

Jace just picked up a beer from the case next to the table and twisted off the cap. He didn’t have to look at Izzy to know of the daggers she was throwing at him with her eyes.

“That was different!”

Jace threw up the eye brows before knocking back his drink.

Was it?

Sure. He’d frozen up those first few days… weeks. Was barely able to look Alec in the eye and had to physically force himself not to cling to him all the time. And it wasn’t like he didn’t give Alec the right to question whether or not he was actually ready. Never mind that later it’d only taken a few days for him to start banging on Alec’s door telling him he only accepts the break up if Alec doesn’t want to be with him and not cause he thinks Jace is not ready cause he will be if he has to, cause he loves Alec for his insane generous kind protective nature that’d driven him to be a cop and would be a hypocrite if he loved them and wasn’t ready for them when they got his boyfriend in trouble every once in a while and Jace Herondale was a lot of things but one thing he wasn’t was a hypocrite and Alec had only smiled one of those goddamned smiles and there was never a talk of a break up ever again.

Jace might not have been ready when it happened but he’d changed that. Alec was worth it. Jace was worth it too, the happiness. The love. So he’d gotten ready. But he was still struggling, case in fucking point.

Mock him, sue him. The thought of Alec once again deciding Jace isn’t cut out to be in his life had been one of those thoughts he didn’t touch with a ten feet pole on a good day. This day was proving to be quite the opposite so why not go all the way? It was dangerous wearing Isabelle Lightwood’s patience thin especially with something about her big brother, but what the hell?

“He’s not gonna leave you because you worry about him.”

Isabelle finally said a little resigned when Jace didn’t say anything and dare he say, with a slightly gentler tone?

“God knows he has to leave all of us if that’s the case”

She sighed and reached for the abandoned bottle of vodka beside Jace. He kept looking at her with his beer in hand, ready to take a swig and ignore if she started battering his hair and intellect again.

“He does express guilt every once in a while,”

Jace winced. He knew about the guilt. He hated it. Could definitely go on the top 10 list of things he hated.

“,but he doesn’t expect you to forget all about your fears and cheer him on as he lands himself in hospital after hospital. He knows you try for both your sakes. He loves you. And respects you too much to take that choice from you and walk away”

“So he just didn’t respect me back then when he did it”

He said not breaking contact with Izzy’s dark brown eyes. He was pushing it and he knew it but at the same time he couldn’t help himself.

“He didn’t take that choice away from you, he gave you one. Either you would have accepted that you weren’t ready and needed to just move on… or you wouldn’t let him go and fight whatever you had to, to be ready and keep him. He didn’t give you shit when you went back for him did he?”

She took a sip from the vodka, probably thinking that was convincing enough, but Jace wasn’t done.

“And that’s what makes these scenarios different? Time they happen?”

Isabelle brought the bottle down and gave him ─ oh there it was. The impossible idiot look again.

“Is something the same thing at the beginning of dating than it is two years in a marriage… I don’t know blondie take a wild guess!”

She practically growled the last sentence and went back to her drinking.

It was the fact that Isabelle could be such a heartless too honest jerk all the time that somehow put all of Jace’s worries on this matter at ease. Maybe she wasn’t that bad a sister after all.

“He might move towards a position with less danger.”

Izzy said digging into her ice cream and Jace snorted indignantly,

“Yeah right. You do know that we met while he was working on something that wasn’t even his job right?”

He said drinking his beer glancing sideways at Izzy. Jace knew his husband well enough thank you very much. Alec wasn’t a cop just for the sake of helping people. He loved all that being a cop offered and as much as it pained Jace to admit it, the action was a very solid part of the stupid honorable job. And one Alec wasn’t moving a quarter of an inch away from, that much Jace was sure.

“Fuck off he already doesn’t do a lot for your sake you know”

Izzy barked and Jace finally got to take a challenging tone with the younger, scarier Lightwood.

“Yeah? Like fucking what?”

He didn’t blame Alec for loving every bit of his work. Certainly didn’t expect him to get himself a desk job assignment. But again, like with everything else, these understandings didn’t help Jace worry any less.

“Like undercover jobs? And he works in Vice! Don’t you watch any cop shows?”

Isabelle apparently wasn’t in the mood for backing out.

“Watch stuff that give me more ideas to freak out?”

Jace said disbelievingly and pointed to himself, “And you call me the moron?”

“Yes.” She said completely ignoring his insult and put the bottle of vodka on the table, turning fully towards Jace.

“Point is. He acknowledges your concerns. And he works with them. And he has no plans on dumping you for it. Trust me I played all kinds of tricks on him and he didn’t fall for it.”

Okay. To be fair, the idea of Alec going undercover in some messed up gang and being all on his own among murderers and pimps and drug lords for months _was_ paralyzing. And if he was turning them down then─ but if he wasn’t doing this and god knows what else for Jace’s sake then─ Yeah they definitely needed to have a conversation about that.

Trust Isabelle Lightwood to take one thing off your mind and put two up there herself! He suddenly remembered what she’d said at the end.

“Wait what?! What’s wrong with me?!”

“You’re blond”

Isabelle said like that was all the explanation in the world and Jace didn’t miss a beat answering her.

“I’m stunning”

“Blond”

“Stunning”

“Blond”

“Stun – This is empty”

He shook the bottle of vodka he’d reached out for while retorting and Izzy turned her back to Jace. Fixing herself in her earlier position she waved a hand and said,

“Yeah I finished that. Be a doll and fetch us another bottle will ya”

Jace huffed and put the vodka down before getting up and making a beeline for the kitchen. When he took out the bottle of single malt scotch and vodka the bar was looking pretty empty. He thought better of it and put the scotch back in. He could turn into a sulking boozehead another time.

When Jace got back in the living room Isabelle’s shuffling through the pile on the table had yet again started.

“Is this all you got?”

She asked Jace without looking up as he sat down and it reminded him of his and Alec’s trip for his tour again. They hadn’t exactly had time for shopping with doing as much as they could before their trip and restocking their stash of junk food, now that Izzy wasn’t pregnant and didn’t go through weird cravings anymore wasn’t a priority. Even though 8 months of making sure pomegranates were available any time any place Isabelle Lightwood could be in, mobile or immobile, had her ever caring brother still putting that item on the top of his shopping list. Nevertheless the past few days they hadn’t had much time for grocery runs.

The thought of their ruined vacation, how excited they’d both been for it and how long they’d been making preparations made him want to kick the table. Maybe he was finally drunk enough.

“Think there were some lollies in the fridge”

Jace said opening the vodka and Isabelle’s head whipped back at him,

“Lollies???”

She asked with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk at the corner of her lips. Jace only shrugged and said,

“I _am_ British”

_And if it weren’t for your brother I would’ve gotten accustomed to more than this._

No point in bringing that up though. Wasn’t like he blamed Alec for that. Whatever it was, fate or destiny or whatever other crap, that had Alec knocking on his door that day 3 years ago, it’d shown Jace all he ever needed was right there in New York.

“And French. And American.”

Izzy said pulling herself closer to where Jace was now refilling the shots.

“But you got to get your shit together eventually,”

She said after a few moments of silence, staring at the vodka shots in front of her, tone serious. Jace abandoned the bottle and looked at her and Izzy met his eyes.

“Do you know the kinds of shit they see on the job? The toll it takes on ‘em? It’s not always gonna be easy,”

Her tone was softer now, kind of sympathizing. But still serious in a way only Isabelle Lightwood could be all at once.

“And when it’s not, he’s gotta be able to talk to you about it without freaking you out. He’s always taking care of everybody,”

Jace was still looking at her intently. She shifted her gaze for a moment to take one of the refilled shots.

“,you need to decide if you want to let your fears come between you taking care of him.” 

And with that she knocked back her head and poured the vodka in her mouth.

She’d been right. It was all very _fucking_ traumatizing. The man he loved the most in the world faced deadly situations every single day on his job. Jace had experienced loss very early on in his life and for so long he was convinced its scars were never going to heal and he just had to deal with them. He didn’t think like that anymore. Didn’t feel like that anymore, the feel of having to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. But he was constantly in close proximity of having that weight crash on him so hard he wouldn’t be able to stand back up ever again. He was reminded of that every time his screen lit up with Lily’s name on it. Or on nights like this, when he couldn’t feel the love of his life safe and sound beside him. When he found himself in need of video games and movie marathons with his closest friends where they could avoid the issue and just busy themselves until the night had passed. They didn’t talk about it because they couldn’t possibly know what Jace went through and were kind and smart enough not to assume pretty words of half assed understanding would do Jace any good. But while stumbling down this road with Isabelle and talking about everything that kept him awake on these nights had been traumatizing, Jace found himself strangely lighter because of it.

She’d been there since the beginning. And Jace knew how much she loved her big brother. He knew it wasn’t the same thing with him and Izzy and not just because Alec was a different person to either of them but because they were different people with different life experiences. But it still felt good to talk to someone who had _some_ idea of what it felt like to worry. To lose occasional sleep. To avoid cop shows. Izzy might mock him but Jace had firsthand information on Simon’s catching up on Law and Order on family dinner nights at his mom’s.

And then there was the inevitable truth that they both loved Alec so much there wasn’t a thing in this world they wouldn’t do for him. Now that he was thinking about it, it was weird how in three years this was the first time a conversation like that had happened between Isabelle and him.

“So”

Jace said taking two glasses in his hands. Married or single Jace Herondale did shots like a man.

“You turn into a hopeless philosophic when you’re wasted.”

He chastised before drinking. Isabelle followed suit and brought her glass down hard on the table.

“When I’m not occupied with my hubby”

She smiled something between cocky and sweet and Jace chuckled,

“I see someone misses someone else they left behind to commiserate with someone’s brother in law over booze”

“Someone’s happy someone else is dealing with their little someone crying and pooping all night while someone’s commiserating with the brother in law over booze”

Izzy said with a victorious flare and Jace went back to refill duty saying,

“You know. Simon told me that he does want to help but you won’t let him and just say he screws things up”

He said casually and Izzy fired up at that.

“Hey! We’re talking about your husband here Herondale, not mine.”

“Just sayin,”

Jace said without taking his eyes off the colorless liquid pouring into tiny shot glasses.

“,you don’t wanna take care of all the crying and pooping all on your own, take the mama lion act down a notch.”

He put down the bottle and slid the refilled shots towards Izzy and went back to nursing his unfinished beer. He was serious about his earlier decision. There was still time before he resided to seeking answers at the bottom of bottles and shot glasses again. Besides, he was no longer feeling the need to fuck his brains out with alcohol anyway.

“He keeps reading Wonder Woman comics to her.”

Izzy said like it was again, all the logic in the world and this time, Jace had to agree.

“You should divorce him and get full custody.”

“Probably,”

She turned to her shots and before drinking added,

“But I like him.”

“Yeah he has that awful effect on people”

Jace hadn’t liked the Lewis kid in kindergarten. He was loud and messy and talked way too much Star Wars. He hadn’t liked him even when he’d stopped the bullies who were messing with him because of said talks about star wars. But after that Simon had never stopped trying to get Jace to like him and the shitfaced little nerd had finally gotten his way.

Jace had been so surprised when he found himself quite anxious on the early days Simon and Isabelle had started dating. She was Simon’s type to the T and anything but the kind of girl who’d spare guys like him a glance. And Jace had been sure she was playing around with him and was scared of the day his boyfriend’s sister might get a dirty revenge on him if he confronted her about breaking Jace’s basically brother’s heart. It wasn’t until Isabelle called Jace and asked for advice on what to buy Simon for his birthday that he realized his friend had outdone himself and actually managed to get his way with Isabelle fucking Lightwood too.

“And he’s gonna be an amazing dad,” Izzy said playing with the last remaining vodka shot, “He should just stop trying to turn my daughter into a comic nerd before she’s had a full year on the planet”

She said with conviction and downed the drink. Jace shrugged and said,

“That might not be a bad thing. A little Lewis robs off on her, maybe she’ll be more tolerable”

At that, Isabelle shot her a dangerous look and said,

“You’re the world’s worst godfather ever. She’s an angel”

Ah the honorary title. The little shit couldn’t even sit in Jace’s arms without screaming bloody marry for two seconds. But that there wasn’t exactly Jace’s problem.

“See this is what I don’t get”

He leaned towards Izzy ignoring her full on mamma lion stance.

“If you want to love your little blood sucking monsters go ahead, but do you have to be morons about it and call them the exact opposite of what they are too? Or is it like a coping mechanism?”

Oh he was feeling brave wasn’t he! It was genuinely his question though.

Izzy shot him an angry look and grabbed the bottle of vodka,

“You’re not a parent asshole”

“Well you’re not making me feel like I’m missing out on a treasury here so”

Jace said before leaning back and drinking his beer. Isabelle tilted her head and gave him a mischievous look,

“You do know that my brother does want kids right?”

“Yes.”

Jace said, thinking he succeeded in keeping the slight bitterness out of his voice.

“So did you tell him that you hate babies?”

Isabelle asked, now having added a smirk to the mixer.

“I don’t _hate_ babies”

He said defensively and Izzy chuckled, looking away to help herself with more vodka. Jace had to admit he was low key impressed.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed how your face gets every time you so much as hear a baby”

“People should not bring those things to malls. If they want to be screamed at while shopping does not mean others do too”

“Oh and when you hear them in parks?”

Isabelle challenged, eyebrows shot upwards, glass in hand.

“Parks are supposed to be a place of relaxation and joy and – oh fuck it yeah maybe I hate babies”

He gave up and drank his beer. Isabelle swallowed her own drink before breaking into a laugh.

“Oh it’s laughable to you is it?”

Jace deadpanned and his evil sister-in-law just gave him a deepened smirk.

“Sure it is. Didn’t you say you were gonna ask Helen about 3 months ago?”

“And Aline─”

“You can’t ask Aline dumbass she’s our cousin”

Izzy interrupted him while refilling her shots.

“─ _if_ they know anyone who’d be interested in being a surrogate! You think I’m gonna let my kid be associated with Blackthorn at all let alone fucking genetically?”

“What’s wrong with Helen?”

“I don’t know you seemed fine until you gave birth to the anti – Christ what’s wrong with you?”

Jace snapped still in defensive mood.

Everyone’d been up his and Alec’s ass ever since Izzy got pregnant and it didn’t help that the ‘you got married before them’ argument was right at hand whenever they said something in the lines of ‘it’s too soon’. And really there was nothing wrong with Helen other than being a pain from time to time and wasn’t like Jace really hated babies. Sure they were excruciatingly loud and needy but that wasn’t the reason he’d been making a face every time he’d been hearing them the past 9 months. Herondales didn’t do well under pressure and the pressure from his own grandmother (You chose to be a family man Jonathan might as well do it right and give me a proper heir) and Aunt Jessie (You want to deny me seeing my grand grand grand nieces or nephews before I die?) and of course Alec’s entire family and friends was no fucking joke.

Now Alec had been the one to finally shut them up and say they’d ask Helen and Aline about the surrogacy. But Jace just never dared ask him if he was being serious or the purpose truly was to shut up the annoying baby demanding lot.

“All I’m saying is if you wanna go up against Alec about the kids business you might as well prepare some valid arguments cause he’s got plenty”

Isabelle said now again, going through the pile of junk food and Jace just stared at her without blinking. He did say something about her easing his mind about one thing and making up two whole new issues didn’t he?

“What’s wrong with you? You think I’m drunk enough for this?”

Isabelle spared him just one glance before going back to her search,

“What, you’d rather us go back to talking about all the murderers, rapists, drug dealers and thugs and thieves of New York City your husband and my brother has to deal with on a daily basis?”

Jace wanted to tell her (and everyone else who wanted half Lightwood half Herondale babies) that just cause she had it all figured out didn’t necessarily mean others had to as well. But decided on just putting the lead back on that can of worms and ask something he was quite curious about.

“How come we’ve never talked about it before?”

“Because the idiot Alec is always thought since Simon’s your BFF you’d have a much more fun slumber party with him. I took it upon myself to put you out of another Star Wars marathon misery.”

Jace wanted to say they’d usually go for Lord of the Rings but instead snickered and said,

“You dumped your kid on her dad and ducked out the first chance you got”

Izzy abandoned her search and turned fully towards Jace who was drinking his beer quite pleased with himself.

“Fuck you I carried her inside me for nine months and had someone shove their arm up to elbow in my vagina─”

Jace’s face fell.

“─and yank her out. As far as I’m concerned I earned every dumping and ducking there is”

Isabelle finished and Jace deadpanned,

“Alec was right, by the way. I’d take Star Wars over that horrid mental image any day.”

Izzy just shrugged and gave the significantly less crowded table a once over,

“I’m hungry”

“I swear if you even think about setting foot in my kitchen Lightwood.”

Jace said lazily drinking his beer but still managed to make the threat completely known.

Izzy huffed and reached for the bottle of vodka, the shot glasses long forgotten. Jace continued,

“Yes. The times of setting shit on fire while hammered is over. Even though everything about this night was a couple joints and bad music short of a full on frat party”

Isabelle gave him an unimpressed look from the corner of her eyes and said,

“If you had a couple joints your husband would’ve been forced to arrest you”

“Fuck. We haven’t done that in ages”

Jace sighed longingly and took a sip of his beer. Isabelle raised an eyebrow,

“If you’re gonna talk about my brother’s sex life when you’re wasted I can’t drink with you again.”

Jace was amused when the realization hit him he actually cared if this happened again. Izzy nicked at the bottom of the chips bowl and asked,

“What does a fancy pants Julliard asshole know about frat parties anyway?”

Jace lifted one eye brow even though Izzy’s back was to him and said,

“You went to Harvard.”

Isabelle pushed the now completely empty bowl away and shrugged while drinking the last of vodka in the bottle.

“Whatever,”

She put it down on the table and got up.

“Imma give myself a head start on sleeping off the upcoming hangover.”

She gave Jace a fierce look and pointed to the piano.

“If you touch that thing and start playing some sad Beethoven shit I’ll show you exactly who my daughter got her monstrosity from”

“No need to threaten. Think I’m gonna follow your lead.”

Jace declared, drinking the last of his own beer.

Izzy tilted her head and asked with a bit of a challenge in her tone, eyes glinting either from drinking the whole kitchen bar or fondness for her brother-in-law, “Yeah?”

Jace couldn’t exactly place his emotions. But he knew he could use some sleep so he gave Izzy a small smile and nodded once,

“Yeah.”

Isabelle stretched out a hand and Jace took it lifting himself up.

She’d been wrong. She had told him something no one else ever had. 

Jace thought as he slid into his room and under the rumpled covers of the bed, he wasn’t exactly completely alone in all this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... there goes the in law conversation. I can't believe I thought by the time I've posted this chapter I'd have the rest of the story ready to go lol. But! I'm trying my best to finish soon so you guys won't have to wait long<3  
> By the way I loved writing this part (some centuries ago) and really hope you enjoyed it too! Let me know what you think I'd love to know your thoughts.


End file.
